Views from a Hotel Room

Nighttime over Lex

Once upon a time, I looked out similar windows to discover the end of a brief relationship.  Once upon a time, I looked out similar windows to fret over the first date that would change everything.  It was only a few months between those vistas, and when I come back to look down on the same Lexington Avenue nearly seven years later, I am enchanted.

Life has a way of winding past the same curves in the road but taking those turns at different speeds, catching familiar bends and traversing them differently than we remembered.  I catch myself in a moment, pausing to contemplate what meaning there might be in returning to this same hotel, with the same view, with the same longing for something else than sitting this night in a hotel room.

Ah, but the circumstances are quite different.  My first once upon a time was a dud, made crueler by the "Xanadu" moment of crafting one of my more brilliant poems (if I say so myself) in anguish to a lost relationship, which somehow was wiped from my hard drive before I could recover (literally and figuratively).  My second once upon a time led to the fateful first date with my future wife, a date so poorly executed as to cause her more intrigue for a second date to discover how and why I could be so inept on my first.  On this night, I remember yet another night where the pipes froze in this hotel, and I lost heat, which was deep in the winter of my discontent before New York City enthralled me and captured the zenith of my single days.  And all together, these memories have threaded through the various rooms of this hotel, where I carried the same solitary view to resounding success.

Perhaps this is what I am capturing in a moment of solitude, a connection to a vibrant life that often lurks right beneath the veneer of comfort, routine, and familiarity.  I am a married guy who has since closed the door on beckoning opportunity at every turn, and I am happy and contented with my decisions.  Perhaps what I really sense is the same sense of wonder and opportunity from the same vista, but this time colored with the depth of experiences that has brought me to this point.