Monday, September 20, 2004

Waiting for download

It is getting late, and I am sitting at my desk sorting various bits of data on my hard drive. This the modern form of paper filing, as our grandparents used to do with carbon copies of memos in 1950's office buildings. But we have a new phenomenon - data files that we pull from the internet. Personally, I like to save articles from the New York Times on random subjects. Why? I don't know, I rarely read the article again - if at all. But the habit causes me to sit at my computer and contemplate things with enough substance to pass the time (but not too much to get distracted), waiting for download.

Monday, September 13, 2004


The mind grabs its own influences and inspirations - if we let it. I have trained myself for so long to channel its energy into frivolous (i.e. procrastination) and commercial (i.e. work) activities that consume most of my time that I miss the opportunity to expand its potential. I am afraid that my mind is slowly losing its elasticity, a quality that marked my childhood ponderings - I remind myself of play-dough and naptime in kindergarten.
A random association, to be sure, but appropriate as I slip into revelry this evening. From so many months away from the pen - journaling has sporadically filled the void but only so much - I find myself feeling more of this creative energy on this silent evening. For some reason, the feeling is much more intense as I return from a short trip to Europe, conceiving yet again the dreams I have set for myself this past year. Most have revolved around work but not as many have cultivated the intellect. Perhaps I am harsh - so quickly I forget meditations on Ayn Rand - but I do not think so fully. So many memories, so many people, so many friends, so much time, so little to show, what it must take, to let it all go. The whirl of songs that populate the playlist I constructed this evening nicely fit the mood - I am awash in reflections.

How time passes...

...when we traverse a path of ambition, letting our greatest impulses overcome us. For me, the result is over two months of inactivity at this blog. What have I been doing exactly? There was the trip to NYC and the follies of an emotionally confused Italian girl, almost a month in Russia and an exchange student reunion in Germany, a quick-fire application submission to an European business school and a rapid-fire response - I just returned from three days in Switzerland performing a grueling, all-day interview. And in between, a month of ping-pong business travel (Dallas-Cleveland-Orlando-Chicago-New York-San Francisco) that directly preceded those three days back and forth to Lausanne. Now, I am in San Francisco working, as my brother just left to Yosemite and Napa Valley for two days - his visit from Ohio for this week is just another moment added to the flow.
So here I am, typing these words at my computer on a beautiful afternoon in SF. I see nothing but blue skies and hear nothing but a bit of hammer pounding in the distance; someone's real-estate development will become someone else's residence soon enough. I am calm for the moment, yet extremely busy catching up from last week's European disruption. Anxiously awaiting the next chronicle in this hectic journey that is 2004. How time passes...