The mind grabs its own influences and inspirations - if we let it. I have trained myself for so long to channel its energy into frivolous (i.e. procrastination) and commercial (i.e. work) activities that consume most of my time that I miss the opportunity to expand its potential. I am afraid that my mind is slowly losing its elasticity, a quality that marked my childhood ponderings - I remind myself of play-dough and naptime in kindergarten.
A random association, to be sure, but appropriate as I slip into revelry this evening. From so many months away from the pen - journaling has sporadically filled the void but only so much - I find myself feeling more of this creative energy on this silent evening. For some reason, the feeling is much more intense as I return from a short trip to Europe, conceiving yet again the dreams I have set for myself this past year. Most have revolved around work but not as many have cultivated the intellect. Perhaps I am harsh - so quickly I forget meditations on Ayn Rand - but I do not think so fully. So many memories, so many people, so many friends, so much time, so little to show, what it must take, to let it all go. The whirl of songs that populate the playlist I constructed this evening nicely fit the mood - I am awash in reflections.